So I've just re-read the book "He's Just Not That Into You." Now, as women, if we had any common sense at all, we would only need to read the chapter titles of this book. We would see the words "he's just not that into you if he's not calling you" and say to ourselves, "Of course! This is just so easy!" But we are women, we love to make excuses for why a guy might not be calling us, but we would rather jump from an airplane with no parachute while chugging hot sauce than admit that this guy has taken a pass on what is clearly the best thing ever to cross his path - us! But what is so liberating about finally admitting that he might just not be into us is that, as Greg so wisely points out in the book, we DON'T WASTE THE PRETTY.
Now, I'm the queen of making excuses for guys. Although I don't call it that. I call it being low-maintenance. But low-maintenance doesn't have to mean low standards, and that's what my reunion with this book taught me. I've never been the kind of girl who needs a guy to call me and formally ask me on a date, pick me up at the door with flowers, and surprise me with a fully planned out romantic outing. In fact, usually that would create the need for an "I'm just not that into you" conversation. I've always been ok with a text message, with just hanging out, with just chatting every once in awhile. But you know what? That never works. Literally, never. I've been single for a while now...long enough to qualify me as an expert, and after reading this book last night, I have made a new pact with myself. I will not proactively pursue any guy, no matter how good looking he may be, no matter how charming his jokes are, no matter how much he may catch my attention (and trust me, catching my attention is a LOT harder than it may sound). He will call me. He will ask me out. And if he doesn't, then as much as it may suck to admit that he's JUST NOT THAT INTO ME, I will suck it up and admit it. Because being the cool, chill, low-maintenance chick still deserves to be pursued, and perhaps I'm a little too optimistic, but I think there just may be a guy out there who will pursue me. And to my friends - I hope you will make this pact, too, because you are all beautiful, sexy, strong women, and you also deserve to be pursued. And lest you think this is old fashioned, think of it like this: You are now in control. You will no longer be waiting by the phone for a call or a text, or worse, be calling or texting HIM. You will be living your life, enjoying your friends, and when you meet that guy who is totally into you, you won't have to wait by the phone. He'll call. He'll ask you out. Because he will not want any other guy to have the chance.
THAT BEING SAID
I have now entered the world of the flip-side. The "she's just not that into you" talk. Because, fellas, you could use a book, too. Only problem is, you'd never read it. But let me break it down for you. If a girl is into you, you will know. Again: YOU. WILL. KNOW. If you find yourself making eye contact, in a moment where it is possible that a kiss could happen if you decided to lean in and go for it, and she breaks that eye contact and moves away, this is NOT A GOOD SIGNAL. An even clearer signal would be if you never find yourself in that position to begin with. I'm a girl, and we girls have perfected the art of putting ourselves in positions where kisses can happen. But only if we want them to. We don't accidentally make our lips available and then realize it later.
Remember, we are the girls who need a BOOK to explain to us what guys' behavior is all about. We analyze. We debate. We chat with our friends. We chat with our co-workers. Hell, we even chat with the woman sitting next to us in the waiting room at the dentist. This is the energy level that we expend on you, the men who are, usually, not that into us. So you can imagaine that if we know you, we've had plenty of time to decide if we WANT you to be into us. We've had the time to talk, game plan, analyze, and most of all, SHOW YOU. So if you are not getting the "go for it...no really, go for it" vibe from a girl you are into, the chances are slim that she's playing hard to get. There's a difference between "hard to get" and "indifference" and if you are honest with yourselves, gentlemen, you will know which is which without having to ask.
So there you have it. I will no longer be wasting the pretty, and hopefully you men have learned a few tidbits of info as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment